apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
