I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
