sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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