I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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