so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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