ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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