It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
