it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
