you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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