we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
