I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize