i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
