i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
