Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
