My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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