OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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