I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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