I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
