Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
