also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
