i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize