PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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