allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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