Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
