I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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