Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize