He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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