i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
