Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
