Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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