I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
