Do you still have your period?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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