i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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