obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
