the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
