You made me cry and you don't even care
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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