He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
