so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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