who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
