It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
