his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
