I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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