Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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