susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
