it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
