no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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