I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
