One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
