oh god the rape fog is back!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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