it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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