Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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