call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
