Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
