My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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