Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
