Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
