Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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