dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
