i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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