Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
