Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
