Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
