All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
