I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
