YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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