I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
