Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
