Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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