North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
