I think my vagina is haunted
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
