it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
