Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize