just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
