I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
