Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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