I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
