she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
