and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
