I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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