I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
