she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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