Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
