what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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