to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
