I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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