I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
